Missouri

Well, I got my wish! I went to the country and got to sit on that porch and listen to the birds and trees! I even was able to experience the fire flies! I went to Cousin Jeanie's home in Missouri. It was a dream come true. I spent ten whole days out there with Lizbeth and had an amazing time. It was so different from the city life and I took in every second. We did so many fun things and even spent time on the deck just chattin about life and boy did we laugh! It is a very different lifestyle. I was able to meet a lot of people and I seen some beautiful , historical buildings. Lizbeth and I even left our mark in the town square! We were able to make our hand prints in cement in the town square. It was a much needed vacation and I enjoyed every minute. Jeanie was a very gracious host and we had our own rooms and she went out of her way to make us feel like her home was truly our home too! It's ironic that I posted a blog about going to the country and never knew it was going to happen. Dreams do come true. I got to meet Renee the mommy to Georgie the foal. I even was able to feed them grain a pet them while they ate. We went to so many thrift stores and even some really cool gift stores. One of the stores was 35,000 sq. feet of beautiful things for sale. It would take half the day or more to really soak in all they had. I was able to purchase a treasure. Well, to me it was my treasure. A perfect paper towel holder for my kitchen! I love it and was so excited to get it home. Next time I visit I'm packing light so I can bring my little treasures home. I asked Danny if I could go back in August and he said yes if it works out in the budget. I'm so excited!!! It feels great to be blogging again. p.s. this picture is Carthage City Hall.

I would like to go to the country...

I would like to go to the country. I have always wanted to stay in a farm house and sit on the big porch and just listen. Nature is an amazing gift for all of us to enjoy yet we take for granted what lies before our eyes. To busy to stop and smell the roses? Maybe nature isn't your thing and there is something else you enjoy doing but just don't. I say make the time! It's imperative that we do the things we really want to do for you! Live a dream or two that you've always had. Go the extra mile and just do it! We are lucky to have the beautiful things we see on a daily basis. More importantly than this is to not hold hate in your heart. I know people always say that but what good does it really do? How some get pleasure pissing people off I'll never understand. Then again many things on this earth are here and I will never understand. I do know right from wrong and that's a good thing. I also know when I get negative. I don't like to admit it but it's true. If I'm going to be honest then I have to let some pride go. Truth be told, there are times when I take a ride on the insecurity boat but who doesn't? There are those days you just feel ugly, maybe not literal but in other ways, about different topics. What sparked this topic for me was learning a new lesson. I'm always learning things all the time. Even if I don't want to I'm learning. Be nice to each other and then again there are those who make it impossible to get along with. What can I say it's human nature. All you can do is try and if you try consistently, eventually you will succeed!

Just me....

I have to say that when coming out of depression it goes the opposite sometimes. What I mean is when you're depressed you are sad and blue and it seems it will never change. The world as you know it came to a complete halt! Then the gross feelings slowly fade out and in comes laughter. What a trip! I've been so down lately. I don't know if anyone else sees the sign of depression in their own face. I know right away if I'm depressed. I see it in my eyes. The good ole saying " the eyes don't lie". Well, that's me. That seems to be my confirmation that what I'm feeling inside is showing on the outside. Why it comes at such a surprise to me I haven't figured out yet. It's like ...HELLO!!! you have depression! Why are you thinking your cured??? My answer? I don't know. What I do know is I'm not different from anyone else although there are days when I feel like an alien. We all have something medical or non-medical that goes on with us. The difference is most people won't admit it. What's to hide? It's part of life and quite interesting if you ask me. If you think back to when you were a child and the events or stories that made the news. In my time which would be late 70'2 early 80's, we didn't have anything close to what kids have today. Things were a lot safer. Now it's present time and all hell is breaking loose. Always, always bad and sad news. One day I will be a Senior with all kinds of stories for my new friends and my grandchildren. So, writing and telling is history in the making. If not for you for my kids. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day *60*

Well the day is here!!! Day number 60, sixty, the big six 0!!! I had a few of the days combined but all in all I did it. I finished!!! Maybe not a big surprise to some but to me a HUGE accomplishment! I was even under the weather today and I still managed to finish this journey. I'm proud of myself. I wish my mom were here to read all about the things I blogged about. Who knows maybe there's a window in heaven she can peek out of that she can see me typing. Whatever the case I did it! I did some things today being it is the twins 21st birthday today. How ironic that I finish this on the day of their 21st birthday. I went bowling with Dustin and Raquel and Kylee and Alicia showed up a little later. We all played some games and Kylee won a ton of tickets that Alicia claimed the prize for. Hah, she got a sponge Bob lunch pail! We had a good time despite the fact that Dustin had to leave early to go to school but, we had a late lunch and then he headed back to Orange County. Poor guy, Dustin called me when he got to school and said he made it on time but class was canceled! What a bummer because he could of stayed out here and went to the movies. Oh well it was better that he took care of his responsibilities first. It was a good day. So, do I continue to blog or do I just stop? I don't think I'll stop but I think I will only blog when I feel like I need to get things out or if something really significant happens in my life.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59

It seems my "Because I never finish anything I start" was beginning to look like something I set out NOT to do, and that was finish! My intentions of this whole project was to finish and I will. I have had so many road blocks and speed bumps and peaks and valleys it's to much to post. Would anyone really even care if I did post it? I, as all of you may have is wrenches that get thrown into your everyday life. It just seems for me that those wrenches are a little harder to dodge sometimes. I have been having a lot of "Mom" moments and maybe a little depression. So much has been happening lately and I've been so busy that when the dust finally settled I got hit with a tsunami of depression! With the St. Patrick's Day party at the Senior Center and the drama that happened with that to the planning of the twins 21st birthday party to the pregnant dog ruining my screen to the list goes on and on. Will I get over it? Sure. Always do. It's really not the point though, it's just how can I try to be someone I'm not and think that I have to take on everyone's problems and solve them all by myself? It's not possible and I know this but as a MOM it is very difficult to not take on your child's ordeals. Maybe if it's not even anything to do with my kids it could be someone else and just when I think all is okay, it's not. Not by a long shot. I just get to involved without even knowing it. I talk with my husband and he wants to help with the way I feel and it just isn't possible. I try to explain my feelings and I get no where. I don't know what to do. I just have to keep telling myself that it will end and I will be Tina again soon but, when you have depression it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel has burned out and there's not a hardware store in the state to buy a new one. I don't even know if I'm making any sense. It doesn't even matter. I really got hit hard with this one and I have to admit it has been a long time since I've felt this way. Really bad timing!!! Life! What a gig. You never know if the audience is going to boo you or if they will love you. Kinda seems to me what life is like. Some days you are for the most part problem free and then there are the days your dodging tomatoes! I apologize if I disappointed any of you out there who have kept up on this blog. I disappointed myself more. I tried really hard to stay committed to this project and for the most part I have( I think ). I know I could of done better. Tomorrow will be my 60 day post and I hope I feel better. Pray for me. peace out ,Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 50

I need to get this off my chest because it has been on my mind for several days. When I started this 60 day adventure, I said I was going to do something for someone each day for 60 days. Some of you might feel I have not done that. You are not alone, I feel like I have not done as many things as I should. But then that brings me to my next point. If you have to tell all the things you do for people it means nothing. At least to me it means nothing. When you do something for anyone it should be from your heart and between you and God. The world doesn't need to know what I do for people only God needs to know because He's the one that truly knows your heart. This is not an attempt to quit my 60 day quest, I only have 10 days for crying out loud! I will continue what I've been doing for the last 49 days and you don't want to miss out on the St. Patrick's Day Party update and outcome! Do you? I just thought I'd clear up any questions you might or might not of had. Thanks for reading and I hope you will continue to do so. The Lord only knows what will type out of my head next! peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 49 & 50

To start off I went to the Senior Center on Friday to sell more raffle tickets. I have to say that doing a basket has helped with putting the party together. At one dollar a ticket I think it's a bargain for the contents of the basket. It is pretty costly to put together a party for 100 people. I do enjoy doing it very much and I know the Seniors appreciate it! It's a good feeling to make another persons day. I have a great time socializing with all of them. I have to say that it doesn't always matter what age you are. Some of the Seniors just are not happy to see a younger person in the mix. Most are happy to have you and then there are a few that probably wished you were somewhere else. I don't let it bother me because that's life no matter where you go. I can't change the world but I can make a difference in how some of them feel. They also can make a difference in me! I feel good when I come home. So, the count down is four more days and I still need a few ideas on games that we can play during the lunch hour. Any ideas? I want to make it fun and memorable, not just another party. Day fifty, my husband and I felt a little under the weather when we woke up so we just kinda laid around. We watched a movie that we started to watch last night but it was a blu ray and it kept going but no words were coming out! It was so frustrating. Kylee took it back to Hollywood Video to exchange it for another one. Danny decided he wanted to cook something after watching the food channel half the day. He wanted to make lasagna so he looked up a recipe on his palm pre and went to the store to buy all the ingredients to make lasagna. He even bought a loaf of french bread and made garlic and cheese bread! It turned out wonderful! It was a great meal. Now he just asked me what kind of ice cream shakes we should make. I'm so bloated from the meal I can't even think of eating or drinking one more thing! We are Blessed! Well, as I type he just left to the store to buy stuff to make ice cream shakes. I'm sure they'll be delicious and I'm also sure that he's gonna have to roll me out of bed tomorrow!!! peace out, Tina