So if blueberries were something you could drive and an automobile was something you ate then what would a strawberry ford taste like? I'm not to sure. If I was walking through the park and saw a green lunchbox would I want to take it home or build a museum out of it? I'm not to sure. The world is round and we all live on a patch of it, yet there is hundreds of miles untouched or is there? I'm not to sure. If people say you are crazy and you start to do back flips does that make you crazy? I'm not to sure. Rings are for fingers and hula hoops are round but they are for the waist does that mean a ring can't fit your waist? I'm not to sure. Does the little girl in the picture look like her head is going to explode or is she putting her head back on? I'm not to sure. So, there was a man who lived on a hill that no one knew of or even heard of. He would make his own furniture out of trees and dirt. He had all the supplies needed to survive and quite frankly knew no different. One day as he was gathering dirt and wood he saw a red moving object that scared him and intrigued him at the same time. Baffled at this sight he dropped what he had gathered and ran as fast as he could to his home. For sometime he just sat and rocked in his handmade chair scratching his head wondering what that red thing could possibly be. It was getting dark when he realized he'd been sitting for hours and not doing much else. He was getting hungry and still thinking of the red thing he got up and started to make a meal. His favorite meal was leaves mixed with berries and a little tree bark for some added flavor. While eating his meal he was distracted by the squirrel that came by every night for some scraps the man would give him. He fed that squirrel since it was a little guy and has seen the family the squirrel had made. There were 3 babies and a mama squirrel. Papa squirrel would always take the scraps and feed the babies and the mama squirrel before he would eat. The man had never seen a dog or cat and didn't know the meaning of a "man's best friend" but he was sure fond of this squirrel. All this time living on this hill and this man never questioned why or where he came from. It just was what it was. The next day the man started out the same as the other days and went out to get his dirt and twigs. It was a beautiful sunny day and a slight breeze was blowing. All of the sudden he heard a noise he'd never heard before. This time it wasn't a red thing it was a huge colorful thing floating through the air. Well, this was the end of all things. He was so amazed and frightened by this huge floating thing he dropped everything and ran as fast as he could back to his safe place. Which for him was home! Once again he sat in his handmade chair just a rocking back and forth with a very puzzled face. Staring into the open for what seemed to be hours and hours. Again just like clock work the squirrel showed up but there were no scraps. The man was so confused at what he seen he forgot to make dinner. He went to bed without even thinking about food. The squirrel knew something was very wrong with his friend and decided to collect dinner for the man. He was busy collecting nuts and berries which was hard work for a squirrel. He could not carry much because his hands were so small. It took some time but the squirrel managed to collect enough for the man and his little family. It was morning time before the man knew and once again he headed out into the hills for more supplies. This time the squirrel decided to follow the man and try to figure out what got his friend so baffled. It didn't take long for the squirrel to figure out what was happening. You see the man did not realize on the other side of the huge hill was a city. Yes, a fast growing fast paced city that the squirrel always knew about but the man had no idea. The squirrel had to think fast and try and figure a way to lead the man to that side of the hill to show him what it was that was scaring him and confusing him. So he got the mans attention and lead him to the edge of the hill where the city was and stood on his hind legs to show the man what it was that had him baffled. The man's eyes got as big as apples and he nearly fainted at what he saw. He looked down at the squirrel as if to say thank you for showing him what it was that had him troubled and wasn't scared anymore. Both man and squirrel went about there business as usual from there on out.
THE END

How is it that you can have three kids from the same womb and they are all so different? It sometimes baffles my brain to watch all three kids and see all their different personalities. My oldest from the youngest which would be the girl twin by one minute. The boy twin likes the fact that he is older and I like the fact that she can say she has an older brother even if it's only by a minute. I know growing up it was a huge difference between my brother and sisters. But still strange to me. I guess if I put a little thought into it I realize that if we were all the same what a boring world this would be. If God only created one type of flower it would get old seeing the same flower over and over. Not sure where this blog is going but I guess my brain is not functioning at this hour. Probably because it's consumed with other thoughts. I do like talking about my family because they all mean the world to me. If I had something like this from my Mom I would read and re-read them all the time. Just knowing that her words were visible and to know her true thoughts would be priceless! I do treasure the few pictures I have of her and wish I had a recording I could listen to of her voice. My youngest sister who's actually a little over a year older than my oldest is the most giving and sensitive person in our family. By sensitive I mean she has a heart of gold and is unconditionally there for me like an older sister. Ironically, she's the youngest as has the heart of our Mom. I'm very lucky to have her in my life. I think it's horrible to not have any sibling or biological family member that you do not communicate with. What's the point? To have the same Mom and Dad or the same Mom and not have contact with your brother or sister is terrible. I understand that we are all different and we all have our strong and weak spots but to not speak because of a falling out or a comment made years ago is non excusable. Get over it!!! Life is way to short and the price of regret is astronomical. You don't get a second chance and at that point. It's done! Some people can be so stubborn but I tell you it's at a cost you might re-think about paying. Off to the topic at hand. My son landed a job!! Woo Hoo! It's great that he finally made it out in the working world and found the inner strength and confidence to get out there and get a job. It was at a price though. It took him to move out and get motivated to get where he needed to be. Maybe not a price for him but more for me. But like I said in one of the blogs I needed to cut the apron strings and look at what's happened in less than two weeks! I'm very proud of him and I know he will do well at his new job. You go Dustin and be the best at this new job and never give up! Each day is another opportunity and a lesson to be learned. Each of us has that to wake up to. Every day is another lesson to be learned no matter how old you are. Believe that! You can take that to the bank and cash it! Theoretically speaking. If you go to the bank they won't give you anything. That was not a literal comment for you. (it's my humor) but you already knew that. I just had to put it in there. So I guess this is it for now I need to go to bed! I have a lot of things to do in a few hours and I will need all the rest I can get.
Love & Peace To All,
Tina

A Mother's Hug

A Mother's love. Looking back at all the memories I've had with my mom. It's truly a gift I will have for the rest of my life. Being this is my Mom's favorite holiday (Christmas) I can't help but think about her more than usual. In this picture it was my wedding day of course, and this moment is one I can still actually feel her arms around me and mine around her. I knew she was on borrowed time and in this hug we both knew what it meant. This was July 1st of 2000 and she passed August 23, 2000. So you can imagine what was running through our minds when this picture was taken. I can't put in words what this picture means to me and till the day I see her again this picture is what I hold in my everyday thoughts. It hangs right by my computer as a reminder of how much my Mom truly meant to me and my brother and sisters. This was a beautiful day having my Mom and Grandpa walk me down the isle. A priceless moment I know will stay with my kids and me. Me and the girls spent the day at the Mission Inn in Riverside getting ready. It was kind of hectic but at the same time I took moments to just look around at who was with me and what they were doing and embedding it in my brain. At times I think they were more nervous than me! Everyone was very helpful in making my day a lot easier and less stressful. For the short time we had to put this wedding into motion thanks to my Mother & Father in law it was better than a 40,000.00 dollar wedding. You can not put a price on having the most important person in your life being at your special day! What makes life easier for me is having married into a family that accepts me and my kids. I can say without a shadow of doubt they truly are my family. I feel like I have a second Mom that understands me and is supportive in everything I do. I can talk to her about things I would talk to my Mom about and it's not awkward. I also have a second Dad and a fourth sister! I'm truly Blessed to have married into a real family and a caring one at that. We have had our moments (but who has not?) I think that is what makes our relationship even better. We joke about who placed a bet at our wedding on how long we would last and to all their surprise it's been nine years married and thirteen years total together! I have a wonderful and loving Husband who accepts me and my kids unconditionally. I can't ask for a better family to have in my life. I appreciate all that I have and take nothing for granted because I know all to well how fast things can change.

Cutting the apron strings...

No one said that being a mom was going to be easy. I would of never imagined it to be this tough. There are more things that go on in a mothers mind than anyone will ever understand unless you are a mother and have the love and passion that it takes to be a mom. I for one am going through a really tough time with my son moving to his father's. It is confusing, yet I'm not convinced it's the best thing and yet something has to change for my son to become an independent person and grow up to be the best man possible. I coddled all my kids to much but for good reason. At the time they needed my protection and I was there security. As they grew up into young adults I continued to protect and serve like a police mom. It's all I know. But it seems to have back fired in a way and by that I mean I didn't give them a push out of the nest when I knew they could probably fly. My son more than the girls. He's my only boy and I love and want nothing but the best for him and my girls because they deserve it. I know there are ups and downs in life. More than most I would say because of my life and even more of a reason I protect my own has a lot to do with my childhood. Not the point of this blog. My son has only moved out less than 24 hours and I'm an emotional wreck on the inside. I went through my crying spells and if I think about it for two minutes I'll start crying again. But!!!! I can not live for my kids they HAVE to experience life for themselves. If and when I go I need to know that they are good and self suffcient. As a mom I would be doing them more harm than good by trying to catch all their falls. When they were small I did my best to keep them safe and away from crisis. Now, they are all adults and I still try to catch them before they fall and I need to stop doing that. I'm failing as a parent if they don't fall and learn to get back up on their own and realize that in every fall there is a lesson to be learned. It might not seem so at the time but there is. It's a tough job being a mom! Some might think it's easy and have the mentality to just kick them out at a certain age and say good luck "my job is done"! I can't be that type of mom but apparently the other mom in some strange way makes them grow into adults and self sufficient ones at that. So, my delima is to listen to my head and not my heart at least for a little while and see what happens. I miss him a lot and he's only 45 minutes away but it seems much further than that. I love you Dustin and I pray you will look to God for answers and comfort and always know that your one and ONLY mother loves her son more than you'll ever know.

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I don't know why my font changes when I go back to correct an error???


FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess it's something I'll have to figure out but man I get so confused??? It makes no sense.

Christmas

Well it's that time of year again. It's by far the most favorite holiday of mine. I think Christmas represents a lot of different things. First and foremost it's about Christ. I like the part of giving and the excitement of Christmas day. The anticipation of the kids opening their gifts and the real sense of what having a family really means. I'm very Blessed to have a wonderful family and wonderful children. I love that we all share the same excitement in the holiday and that it is a huge reminder of my mom and her love for Christmas! My mom would have the tree up before Halloween! She did not care what jokes we would crack. She was always so excited for Christmas to come and prepared for days. It was not that we had much but what this woman could do with just a few dollars was incredible! Every year I tell my kids to not expect much because Christmas just seems to creep up on you and before you know, it's here! One of my favorite things to do is shop for others and try to get the best gift I can within my means of course. I truly love to decorate and spend time with all the people who are important in my life and the ones I love most. It just brings out the best in everyone. This year was really tough because my Husband was laid off in November and for sure I panicked and thought okay in the past years I would tell the kids to not expect much but this year I really mean it and it depressed me faster than driving through a yellow light. It was depressing because my first thought was we are part of the news and the people being laid off and then my head gets flooded with thoughts of being on the streets and no food and what about medical insurance and on and on and on. Then my thoughts come to an abrupt halt and I say Tina you need to have faith. Where's your faith? So, I calm down and I say Jesus I'm giving it to you because I believe that only you can make a difference in this situation. It's the hardest but easiest thing to do. What I mean is that having faith can be easy when nothing is wrong. But, having faith when your lives are crumbling before you is a little tougher. Your faith is put to the test! The hardest exam I've ever taken for sure!!! So that's what I did, I gave it all to God and He answered. I knew He would I just did not know with what and when. My Husband has a new job at a very stable company and although it's a further drive we are so Blessed to have him working. Christmas? Well it's back on and going to be even better than the years before because this one WE will all appreciate! The close call of being out of work and the scare of the possibility of losing everything you worked for will never be forgotten and I know that nothing in this life is gauranteed. Heaven is to those who work for Christ but here on earth it's nothing. So instead of a Charlie Brown Christmas we will have a much appreciated and thankful one. No matter how many gifts are under the tree is not the point of this holiday. It's knowing that it can all change in a moments notice and there's nothing you can do. I love God and I'm so thankful my mom was the example that she was and her love for Christ brought me to want to know who He is. With that said, may ALL of you have a very Merry Christmas and don't take anything or anyone for granted we are not born with expiration dates tattooed on us and life is truly short and truly a GIFT. God Bless you all. Tina