Sunday, December 6, 2009

Cutting the apron strings...



No one said that being a mom was going to be easy. I would of never imagined it to be this tough. There are more things that go on in a mothers mind than anyone will ever understand unless you are a mother and have the love and passion that it takes to be a mom. I for one am going through a really tough time with my son moving to his father's. It is confusing, yet I'm not convinced it's the best thing and yet something has to change for my son to become an independent person and grow up to be the best man possible. I coddled all my kids to much but for good reason. At the time they needed my protection and I was there security. As they grew up into young adults I continued to protect and serve like a police mom. It's all I know. But it seems to have back fired in a way and by that I mean I didn't give them a push out of the nest when I knew they could probably fly. My son more than the girls. He's my only boy and I love and want nothing but the best for him and my girls because they deserve it. I know there are ups and downs in life. More than most I would say because of my life and even more of a reason I protect my own has a lot to do with my childhood. Not the point of this blog. My son has only moved out less than 24 hours and I'm an emotional wreck on the inside. I went through my crying spells and if I think about it for two minutes I'll start crying again. But!!!! I can not live for my kids they HAVE to experience life for themselves. If and when I go I need to know that they are good and self suffcient. As a mom I would be doing them more harm than good by trying to catch all their falls. When they were small I did my best to keep them safe and away from crisis. Now, they are all adults and I still try to catch them before they fall and I need to stop doing that. I'm failing as a parent if they don't fall and learn to get back up on their own and realize that in every fall there is a lesson to be learned. It might not seem so at the time but there is. It's a tough job being a mom! Some might think it's easy and have the mentality to just kick them out at a certain age and say good luck "my job is done"! I can't be that type of mom but apparently the other mom in some strange way makes them grow into adults and self sufficient ones at that. So, my delima is to listen to my head and not my heart at least for a little while and see what happens. I miss him a lot and he's only 45 minutes away but it seems much further than that. I love you Dustin and I pray you will look to God for answers and comfort and always know that your one and ONLY mother loves her son more than you'll ever know.

2 comments:

  1. I LOVE MY KIDS!!!! There is no measuring cup imaginable to measure the love I will always, always have for my three kids. They are my heart and soul and the reason I am me.

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  2. Tina: there is a scripture that reads: So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today. I can only imagine what you go through watching and listening to my wife and the things that anguish her when our kids stuggle in life or fall and it seems often that they fall, there are lessons for sure both for them and for us as parents, no one thing you will never stop being their mom. (Randy)

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