Reality Check # 101 (The inevitable)

Well, here it is the truth about life through my eyes. So, we think a lot alike. It seems as though we take so much for granted. Maybe it's denial or maybe most just don't like thinking about it. By "it" I mean death. The reality of life. Some would say "why are you even thinking about it? Well, when you lose the person in your life that you can never get back and that person meant everything to you then you get it. At least in my experience that is what happened. I got reality checked! As kids we think our parents are going to live forever. It never crossed my mind. Although, that wouldn't be true because I remember crying when the thought of losing my mom would be terrifying. I also remember her telling me not to worry about that because she would say "It's okay,I'm not going anywhere." I still would hurt her feelings and act like a punk. In my mind when she said "don't worry", I somehow thought okay I won't worry. I just now thought, I wonder if I type in her name I could find her obituary notice. Well, not right off the bat. I decided to type in the name of the cemetery she's buried at and low and behold there she was and my Grandpa's just above her's. I cried. I know now, after the fact that I should of appreciated her way more than I showed. Now it's to late. Although, she still sends that hummingbird everyday letting me know "it's okay." Now I have a reality check, I went to the Doctor because of pain on my right side just under the right of my ribcage. They did an ultrasound of my liver, kidney and gall bladder. I knew something was there when I was getting the ultrasound.I pay attention to how long they scan the area and how many clicks she makes to mark something. Well low and behold I was right. I even told my mother in law she was in the liver area too long. They said they found two cysts in the lower right lobe of my liver. My mom died from liver cancer. A non-drinker a non-smoker, and she died of liver cancer. I shouldn't worry though? Yeah right, it scared the crap out of me and I got hit with a reality check! Big Time. The thought of not being here to see grandchildren and watch my own kids succeed, and be there for them is a lot terrifying! We all need to do that old saying, " Live today like it's your last." Do we ever? I confess I don't. My message would be don't put things off, always tell each other I love you. Don't let pride get in the way. If you fought with someone you loved and something happened before you could say sorry or make amends it would haunt you the rest of your life!!! These are just my thoughts. Leaving my family would be devastating! Not only to them but for me. I want them to know how much I love them and I will NEVER stop loving all three of my beautiful kids. Leaving Danny would be awful and just thinking about it makes it too sad. So, all four of you guys Ma loves you and Danny you are the best thing that EVER happened to me. Know that! Me