"Have a little FAITH"

I wish I could say I had more faith! Practice what you preach! Or don't tell someone " I'll pray for you" and then don't do it! I guess this letter would be to me. I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of so many things, God just shakes His head at me. It's not that I don't mean it when I tell someone I will pray. I just never get that far. I have the best intentions in my heart, but I know that is NOT what God wants. Either you're in or you're out! No middle is His game! Live like you were me or suffer the consequences! That's what I'm afraid of. I'm going to pay when I get to heaven. Not in a punishment way, but as of now if I were to die today I would have a lot of "splain" to do! I guess the reality is that we don't get a trial run at what it is to go to Heaven. If that were the case maybe we would be a different world. Who knows.

The big and the small of it, If I chose to keep living the way I live and not follow Christ as close as I should than the "big" is don't cry when your rewards are small! I want Jesus to know that I want to obey Him. I want to live my life through Christ. I just feel like it's learning a foreign language. It's so easy it's hard! Makes no sense. I need to learn to pray and not just pray, but pray with my heart and soul. God, I know you know my heart and I feel like it's not good enough for you. So, if I feel that way then it must be true or I would feel otherwise. True? I wish I could speak to you face to face and you could hold me and comfort my worries. I know all I have to do is ask and I feel like I do that but it's not good enough. Maybe I expect an answer right away or I somehow missed what you were telling me. Whatever the case I want you to know that I love you more than anything! I want you, God, to know that I believe in you no matter what my thoughts try to do to me. I want to be a leader in someway. I want you to be proud of me! Tina.

So, I guess if you're listening to my brain or watching me type this you will know how much I need you and how much I love and thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I thank you for the three beautiful children you gave me and I hope I'll see the others that didn't make it to see the world. I know you have them in good hands and my mom will definitely help you. Mom if your sitting or standing with God watching me please know how much I love you and I miss you more than you'll ever know. This is why I'm so scared. I feel like I'm being such a bad Christian that I won't be able to see you when it's my time. Please Jesus let me know, give me a sign of what you want from me. More importantly make sure when you send the message I know without a shadow of doubt it's you. Is it wrong to ask for that? Am I being stupid for wanting to know the obvious? I'm really that lost that I need you to really let me know it's YOUR will and to hear it loud and clear!

Well, that's all for now. I hope I made my questions answerable. I really am clueless and I need YOU! Please Lord be there for me and watch over me and my family. Give me the strength and the ears to hear when you speak to me. I thank you for everything and I don't want to screw things up. I know I'm not perfect but I'm not making a good impression of you either. So, Lord help me to be strong and to do the right thing always. I will stumble but please be there to pick me up. I love you with all you have given me. Mom, I love you and God willing will see you again. If I haven't said it enough I will say it again, Mom, I Tina am truly sorry for all the moments that I took from you. I took happy away from you. I wish I wasn't your worst nightmare. I know not all the time but enough times that I don't even have to think. They are all at the top of my brain. I need to learn how to forgive myself! God please help me with that. Your Daughter, Tina L. Flores Gonzales

My Holiday!!!

Christmas is my all time favorite holiday! Not only does it bring out the
giving in me/us (hopefully), it makes me happy! There are so many things to be
thankful for and In my case I don't give credit where credit is due. Jesus is the one and only person I can say Thank you to. He has all control,. I have none! We don't have any control. You might think you do, but ultimately it's up to Him.There are people that I would love to have here to celebrate this amazing gift, but if that's what He chose to do then that's what He chose to do. I know my mom is looking down and smiling! She's going to be even happier when she see's all of us together for the first time in 10 years!!! I hope she'll be smiling for days. We all needed to get together because we are family! I can't imagine me dying and my kids just going in their own direction. That is my worst fear, is they won't stick together and realize how IMPORTANT your siblings are!!! Mo, Dutin, and Kyle this is for your eyes to read. I love all you guys so much and I don't EVER want you guys to separate!!! I will not be happy, and you can't be sad in Heaven, so trust me on this one! I'm so excited for Christmas but I don't want it to come too fast. The family needs to be more close for it to be exactly like I want it. As your mother, a.k.a.,Ma /I want nothing but happiness for all three of you. Life is not perfect, and to say the old cliche "I want nothing but happiness for you" can't and won't always be possible. Hence the word "life" and struggle and heartaches and breaks. You will wonder why things are so bad, and how did it get this far? Why didn't I see this coming, and God forbid sin itself. You are ALL human, and not, nor never will be perfect! Be great people. Treat eachother with respect and love. At least make it look like I taught you guys something. I want to see all of you doing something you wanted for you! Don't ever give up!!! It's worth the fight. I'm living proof that you can have happiness after crap! Danny has been the one stable person in my life that has done nothing but loved me for me! Imagine that! I know I didn't see that coming. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SETTLE!!! You all are worth so much and don't ever settle for a bad job or relationship. I don't care how much seniority you have invested in the company OR the relationship. It's not worth it to be unhappy in a tough world like this one. Believe that God will take you and carry you through those times when you think that this is just absolutly impossible. Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE with God! My love for the three of you and Danny can not always be expressed through verbal words and I always seem to say it like I want when I write. So, this is your mother telling all of you that if it wasn't for all four of you in my life I would never be the woman I am today! Thank you guys for mothering me when I needed it the most! I KNOW ALL I have put you guys through. I don't or won't forget the damage I've done to you guys. I have forgiven myself as God has forgiven me. Do I feel better? No! I have a lot of guilt but none the less I am your Ma. Do not follow my footsteps. Create a whole new and exciting path for yourselves! Make yourselves proud! I will always be watching no matter where I am. I will treasure moments, and I do lock precious moments away forever to take with me. Here's an example of one I actually have locked away, when I see all three of my kids getting along and laughing my heart melts. You guys probably didn't know that but you do now. Simple pleasures of watching you guys with your different personalities. ALL of you know how to make me laugh! I love that you got that from Muah!!!HAH! Mo, Dutin, & Kyle as your ma I want you to know you are the pillars I stand on and without a fourth ( which would be Danny ) cause I could'nt stand with just three, you have made me one proud mama! I love you here and beyond and if there was another word for how much you all mean to mean it would be that word! I love you all. Peace, your Ma/wife

Decmeber 7, 2010 Today is one of those days where I'm just falling apart inside. I feel like I'm the only person on the planet lonely and in pain. I have worries of up coming medical tests and kids and my husband and the shedding dogs and just my general depression. Depression is at times more frightening than something on the outside you can see. You can't see depression you just feel it. I wish I had my mom here with me to talk to and to tell me everything was going to be ok.

Interesting analogy from another blog

I was reading another blog and what she said had made a lot of sense to me. She talked about how the city and state and or community you live in could have an affect on your lifestyle. As I went to sleep last night I thought about this for a while and came up with the conclusion she's right! At least for me this holds true. In Moreno Valley it's not a booming city with lots to do or big corporations or big malls with high end stores. It's a small city with not much to do or offer. This is my opinion but I'm guessing if I took a poll people would agree with me.
So, I look at what's around and just off the top of my head I see homeless people and foreclosure signs and lots of damaged empty homes. It's not a bad city but it could be a reason for some of the depression and boredom people go through. I know for a fact it's the reason kids are experimenting with alcohol and drugs. Even adults, I know all they do on weekends and during the week is drink! Why? Lack of other things to do. You have to drive to another city to be able to go and do something a little more entertaining.
It could just be me but I think it has a lot to do with crime and other bad things. Don't get me wrong our economy has a lot to do with the foreclosure signs and homeless people. I wonder as a community if there isn't something we all can't do to make things better. A more prosperous city? I don't even know where to go to talk to someone about this. City hall? Don't you have to know what you're talking about before they talk to you?
All I know is I have three young adult children and they all say the same thing. "There's nothing in Moreno Valley to succeed". To me that speaks volumes! I'm glad I was able to get this off my chest. It makes me feel like I do know and I am aware of my surroundings. I hope someone reads this and knows a solution or a suggestion. One more thing. The people I know personally that have a good paying job have to drive at least a one to two hour "one way" drive to have a decent job.
Regards, Tina

Just want to talk

There are the days that you have things on your mind and no one to talk to. So, I'm going to type my thoughts out. I have been a little depressed lately. Probably the holidays and not having my mom around to share them with, or just because I have depression! It's one or the other or both. I am thankful for so many things yet at times I hear my brain saying "I just want to die". Is that normal? Is my faith in Jesus lacking? These thoughts are often, and have been happening for years. I mention to my husband and he says you talk about it so much God's going to make you live to be 100 years old!!! The thing is, do I really want to die? I'm not afraid of death (pain maybe) but not death. I want to be with my mom and the rest of the family that has passed but I also have my kids and my husband that I love and need to be with. I need to choose my words carefully. I don't want it to sound like I don't want to be here for my kids or husband. The emptiness that I live with day in and day out is pain staking. No one would know by looking at me that on the inside I'm hollow as a shell! No feeling, no emotions, and no happiness. Just lonliness. Christmas is my favorite holiday because it seems to be the one that I get a little glimmer of happiness through my kids eyes while there opening their presents and we all get to be together. I love it! I wish there were more days like that where I had more glimmer and shimmer then dimmer. Maybe I just need to get on my knees more and talk to someone that can do something about it. As soon as that thought comes out, my brain says forget that one you're not worth it and He doesn't care anyway! I know that has to be Satan discouraging me from Jesus and he does fairly well for the most part. I pray for Jesus to give me strength to get over those thoughts and to be able to draw closer to Him. Lord you know my heart. Heal me and make me new and not broken. I've been broken to long and I'm tired. I feel like I have no more fight in me. Lord lift me up and take away the pain and emptiness in my heart and life. Give me a new heart and sound mind. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Just when you thought you were not even a thought...

Some days are kinda boring and then there are the ones that never seem to end. I was thinking about how many people I have in my life that I know love me and would be devastated if I were to leave earth. I was at the Sprint store up grading my phone and when I walked in this old man was coughing and choking. He just couldn't stop. I asked the sprint guy if they had any water in the back and he said "yes" but no cups! He also said that the man had already asked him for water. OMG, I was like are you kidding me this guy is having a coughing attack and needs water! I told him to take the next person in line and I would be right back. I went to Quizno's and bought a bottle of freakin water for the poor guy. He was very thankful. I just don't see how people can stand by and act like they don't hear the guy choking? So, it made me think of all the things that people do for each other, and not for each other whether it be a stranger or not. I can't count how many times I've witnessed someone doing something kind for another person. You might not think people don't see your kind gestures but they do. Something as simple as pushing the grocery cart back in place for them or holding open a door. It takes so little to put a smile on someones face. We all should be helping one another in this crazy world. Don't turn your back on someone that obviously needs your help. Don't be crazy, and approach people that look dangerous either, but you all have a good head on your shoulders and go with your gut. Going to more and more Dr. visits makes me wonder when my clock expires. I don't want to leave earth without helping as many people as I can. Pick a day of the week and tell yourself today I'm going to do something for someone, and then do it. I think we all have a "bucket list" and we could scratch off a few of those things by helping one another. Another thing, don't be in such a hurry. There are the days you wish you had a monster truck and you could mow down every slow car in front of you but why? I've learned and I'm still learning that maybe I'm avoiding a car accident or God is slowing me down for a reason. You never know. If your running late, you'll be late anyway so why rush? Take your time, put on a good radio station, listen to your favorite cd or i pod. Just slow down. Your heart rate and blood pressure will appreciate it, believe me! So, I guess for now that is it. I will take my meds and head to bed. Love & peace to all, Tina

Reality Check # 101 (The inevitable)

Well, here it is the truth about life through my eyes. So, we think a lot alike. It seems as though we take so much for granted. Maybe it's denial or maybe most just don't like thinking about it. By "it" I mean death. The reality of life. Some would say "why are you even thinking about it? Well, when you lose the person in your life that you can never get back and that person meant everything to you then you get it. At least in my experience that is what happened. I got reality checked! As kids we think our parents are going to live forever. It never crossed my mind. Although, that wouldn't be true because I remember crying when the thought of losing my mom would be terrifying. I also remember her telling me not to worry about that because she would say "It's okay,I'm not going anywhere." I still would hurt her feelings and act like a punk. In my mind when she said "don't worry", I somehow thought okay I won't worry. I just now thought, I wonder if I type in her name I could find her obituary notice. Well, not right off the bat. I decided to type in the name of the cemetery she's buried at and low and behold there she was and my Grandpa's just above her's. I cried. I know now, after the fact that I should of appreciated her way more than I showed. Now it's to late. Although, she still sends that hummingbird everyday letting me know "it's okay." Now I have a reality check, I went to the Doctor because of pain on my right side just under the right of my ribcage. They did an ultrasound of my liver, kidney and gall bladder. I knew something was there when I was getting the ultrasound.I pay attention to how long they scan the area and how many clicks she makes to mark something. Well low and behold I was right. I even told my mother in law she was in the liver area too long. They said they found two cysts in the lower right lobe of my liver. My mom died from liver cancer. A non-drinker a non-smoker, and she died of liver cancer. I shouldn't worry though? Yeah right, it scared the crap out of me and I got hit with a reality check! Big Time. The thought of not being here to see grandchildren and watch my own kids succeed, and be there for them is a lot terrifying! We all need to do that old saying, " Live today like it's your last." Do we ever? I confess I don't. My message would be don't put things off, always tell each other I love you. Don't let pride get in the way. If you fought with someone you loved and something happened before you could say sorry or make amends it would haunt you the rest of your life!!! These are just my thoughts. Leaving my family would be devastating! Not only to them but for me. I want them to know how much I love them and I will NEVER stop loving all three of my beautiful kids. Leaving Danny would be awful and just thinking about it makes it too sad. So, all four of you guys Ma loves you and Danny you are the best thing that EVER happened to me. Know that! Me

The truths about life from my eyes...

The truths about life from my eyes is about what I see. I can only speak for myself and maybe someone thinks or feels the same way. It has been almost ten years since my mom passed away. August 23, 2010 will be 10 years. I seem to have a hard time every August since she passed. This 10 year anniversary seems to be one of the hardest for me. I don't know why but the anger I had when she first passed in August 2000 is back! I can't explain and it hurts to even express to anyone. So, I type to get it all out. I'm angry at the world right now and I don't like it. I'm feeling like my world inside has not been crushed but just plain been taken away. I have nothing but negativity inside and I don't feel those happy moments even a little bit. Not everyday should be such a battle from within. Here's the part where some may be asking, you're a Christian right? So, why don't you give it to God and let Him take this burden from you? It would be a whole lot easier if I didn't know who Jesus was and then I could really just be a wreck, but because I do it makes it that much harder. I'm angry! I want Him to come to me and make me better. I don't want to go to Him. He see's my pain why can't He just take it away? You see how stubborn I'm being? It is so hard right now and I just want to throw in the towel and give up. I don't want pity I want the pain to go away. Far, far away! I don't want to let anyone in and I wish I had a shell to crawl under to make things go away. I was born a person quite similar to my mom. I want to fix everyone's problems and make them happy. I'm finding out that it's what probably had something to do with her passing at 56 years of age. She took so much on and left nothing emotionally for herself. She was drained and it affected her from the inside out. I know I have a huge part in that by telling her all my problems in my first marriage. I called her for everything and told her everything. She was all I had and I didn't know any better. I had no one to go to but her. Or maybe I did but didn't know it at the time. I feel I had a part in her passing at such an early age. I thought I forgave myself for that but apparently I haven't. Like my mom I take on everyone's problems and try to fix them. It's not a conscience choice it's part of who I am. It seemed a lot easier to do when I was younger but now that I'm getting older I'm finding it wears me out and makes me want to just get out of this world. Which is probably what my mom thought. Not to say she wanted to die, she just wanted peace. I know now what she must of went through behind closed doors and the tears she must of shed not being able to help the ones in need, like me. Danny and I went to the Exit Concert put on by Diamond Bar Calvary Chapel for Chi from the Foo Fighters who's in a coma from a car accident. They put on a concert with different bands including P.O.D. I found it hard to even try and have a good time because of all the negativity in my body. It seemed I was angry even hearing people's testimonies. I thought why are you being glorified for doing drugs and being a prostitute while millions of people have worse struggles in their lives and they don't get to go on stage and have everyone clap at their disgusting life. Now I have to keep in mind that these people were testifying what they did before Christ. Yes, I understand but still the anger is there. It's like Lohan getting away with things the normal population would never get away with but yet because she's famous she gets treated with hand slaps. Time and time again you hear of famous people getting away with crimes we as the normal public would not have a prayer of getting away with. I find myself taking more meds than I need to. Not to harm myself to the extent of not waking up but to get out of these taunting thoughts. I probably am doing damage slowly to my body but the sickness of the feelings and the illness is that bad that I don't care. I should care I have 3 beautiful children that I'm sure don't want their mom to go anywhere soon but the thoughts are so strong I give into them every time. I wish I could feel better.

Missouri

Well, I got my wish! I went to the country and got to sit on that porch and listen to the birds and trees! I even was able to experience the fire flies! I went to Cousin Jeanie's home in Missouri. It was a dream come true. I spent ten whole days out there with Lizbeth and had an amazing time. It was so different from the city life and I took in every second. We did so many fun things and even spent time on the deck just chattin about life and boy did we laugh! It is a very different lifestyle. I was able to meet a lot of people and I seen some beautiful , historical buildings. Lizbeth and I even left our mark in the town square! We were able to make our hand prints in cement in the town square. It was a much needed vacation and I enjoyed every minute. Jeanie was a very gracious host and we had our own rooms and she went out of her way to make us feel like her home was truly our home too! It's ironic that I posted a blog about going to the country and never knew it was going to happen. Dreams do come true. I got to meet Renee the mommy to Georgie the foal. I even was able to feed them grain a pet them while they ate. We went to so many thrift stores and even some really cool gift stores. One of the stores was 35,000 sq. feet of beautiful things for sale. It would take half the day or more to really soak in all they had. I was able to purchase a treasure. Well, to me it was my treasure. A perfect paper towel holder for my kitchen! I love it and was so excited to get it home. Next time I visit I'm packing light so I can bring my little treasures home. I asked Danny if I could go back in August and he said yes if it works out in the budget. I'm so excited!!! It feels great to be blogging again. p.s. this picture is Carthage City Hall.

I would like to go to the country...

I would like to go to the country. I have always wanted to stay in a farm house and sit on the big porch and just listen. Nature is an amazing gift for all of us to enjoy yet we take for granted what lies before our eyes. To busy to stop and smell the roses? Maybe nature isn't your thing and there is something else you enjoy doing but just don't. I say make the time! It's imperative that we do the things we really want to do for you! Live a dream or two that you've always had. Go the extra mile and just do it! We are lucky to have the beautiful things we see on a daily basis. More importantly than this is to not hold hate in your heart. I know people always say that but what good does it really do? How some get pleasure pissing people off I'll never understand. Then again many things on this earth are here and I will never understand. I do know right from wrong and that's a good thing. I also know when I get negative. I don't like to admit it but it's true. If I'm going to be honest then I have to let some pride go. Truth be told, there are times when I take a ride on the insecurity boat but who doesn't? There are those days you just feel ugly, maybe not literal but in other ways, about different topics. What sparked this topic for me was learning a new lesson. I'm always learning things all the time. Even if I don't want to I'm learning. Be nice to each other and then again there are those who make it impossible to get along with. What can I say it's human nature. All you can do is try and if you try consistently, eventually you will succeed!

Just me....

I have to say that when coming out of depression it goes the opposite sometimes. What I mean is when you're depressed you are sad and blue and it seems it will never change. The world as you know it came to a complete halt! Then the gross feelings slowly fade out and in comes laughter. What a trip! I've been so down lately. I don't know if anyone else sees the sign of depression in their own face. I know right away if I'm depressed. I see it in my eyes. The good ole saying " the eyes don't lie". Well, that's me. That seems to be my confirmation that what I'm feeling inside is showing on the outside. Why it comes at such a surprise to me I haven't figured out yet. It's like ...HELLO!!! you have depression! Why are you thinking your cured??? My answer? I don't know. What I do know is I'm not different from anyone else although there are days when I feel like an alien. We all have something medical or non-medical that goes on with us. The difference is most people won't admit it. What's to hide? It's part of life and quite interesting if you ask me. If you think back to when you were a child and the events or stories that made the news. In my time which would be late 70'2 early 80's, we didn't have anything close to what kids have today. Things were a lot safer. Now it's present time and all hell is breaking loose. Always, always bad and sad news. One day I will be a Senior with all kinds of stories for my new friends and my grandchildren. So, writing and telling is history in the making. If not for you for my kids. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day *60*

Well the day is here!!! Day number 60, sixty, the big six 0!!! I had a few of the days combined but all in all I did it. I finished!!! Maybe not a big surprise to some but to me a HUGE accomplishment! I was even under the weather today and I still managed to finish this journey. I'm proud of myself. I wish my mom were here to read all about the things I blogged about. Who knows maybe there's a window in heaven she can peek out of that she can see me typing. Whatever the case I did it! I did some things today being it is the twins 21st birthday today. How ironic that I finish this on the day of their 21st birthday. I went bowling with Dustin and Raquel and Kylee and Alicia showed up a little later. We all played some games and Kylee won a ton of tickets that Alicia claimed the prize for. Hah, she got a sponge Bob lunch pail! We had a good time despite the fact that Dustin had to leave early to go to school but, we had a late lunch and then he headed back to Orange County. Poor guy, Dustin called me when he got to school and said he made it on time but class was canceled! What a bummer because he could of stayed out here and went to the movies. Oh well it was better that he took care of his responsibilities first. It was a good day. So, do I continue to blog or do I just stop? I don't think I'll stop but I think I will only blog when I feel like I need to get things out or if something really significant happens in my life.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59

It seems my "Because I never finish anything I start" was beginning to look like something I set out NOT to do, and that was finish! My intentions of this whole project was to finish and I will. I have had so many road blocks and speed bumps and peaks and valleys it's to much to post. Would anyone really even care if I did post it? I, as all of you may have is wrenches that get thrown into your everyday life. It just seems for me that those wrenches are a little harder to dodge sometimes. I have been having a lot of "Mom" moments and maybe a little depression. So much has been happening lately and I've been so busy that when the dust finally settled I got hit with a tsunami of depression! With the St. Patrick's Day party at the Senior Center and the drama that happened with that to the planning of the twins 21st birthday party to the pregnant dog ruining my screen to the list goes on and on. Will I get over it? Sure. Always do. It's really not the point though, it's just how can I try to be someone I'm not and think that I have to take on everyone's problems and solve them all by myself? It's not possible and I know this but as a MOM it is very difficult to not take on your child's ordeals. Maybe if it's not even anything to do with my kids it could be someone else and just when I think all is okay, it's not. Not by a long shot. I just get to involved without even knowing it. I talk with my husband and he wants to help with the way I feel and it just isn't possible. I try to explain my feelings and I get no where. I don't know what to do. I just have to keep telling myself that it will end and I will be Tina again soon but, when you have depression it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel has burned out and there's not a hardware store in the state to buy a new one. I don't even know if I'm making any sense. It doesn't even matter. I really got hit hard with this one and I have to admit it has been a long time since I've felt this way. Really bad timing!!! Life! What a gig. You never know if the audience is going to boo you or if they will love you. Kinda seems to me what life is like. Some days you are for the most part problem free and then there are the days your dodging tomatoes! I apologize if I disappointed any of you out there who have kept up on this blog. I disappointed myself more. I tried really hard to stay committed to this project and for the most part I have( I think ). I know I could of done better. Tomorrow will be my 60 day post and I hope I feel better. Pray for me. peace out ,Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 50

I need to get this off my chest because it has been on my mind for several days. When I started this 60 day adventure, I said I was going to do something for someone each day for 60 days. Some of you might feel I have not done that. You are not alone, I feel like I have not done as many things as I should. But then that brings me to my next point. If you have to tell all the things you do for people it means nothing. At least to me it means nothing. When you do something for anyone it should be from your heart and between you and God. The world doesn't need to know what I do for people only God needs to know because He's the one that truly knows your heart. This is not an attempt to quit my 60 day quest, I only have 10 days for crying out loud! I will continue what I've been doing for the last 49 days and you don't want to miss out on the St. Patrick's Day Party update and outcome! Do you? I just thought I'd clear up any questions you might or might not of had. Thanks for reading and I hope you will continue to do so. The Lord only knows what will type out of my head next! peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 49 & 50

To start off I went to the Senior Center on Friday to sell more raffle tickets. I have to say that doing a basket has helped with putting the party together. At one dollar a ticket I think it's a bargain for the contents of the basket. It is pretty costly to put together a party for 100 people. I do enjoy doing it very much and I know the Seniors appreciate it! It's a good feeling to make another persons day. I have a great time socializing with all of them. I have to say that it doesn't always matter what age you are. Some of the Seniors just are not happy to see a younger person in the mix. Most are happy to have you and then there are a few that probably wished you were somewhere else. I don't let it bother me because that's life no matter where you go. I can't change the world but I can make a difference in how some of them feel. They also can make a difference in me! I feel good when I come home. So, the count down is four more days and I still need a few ideas on games that we can play during the lunch hour. Any ideas? I want to make it fun and memorable, not just another party. Day fifty, my husband and I felt a little under the weather when we woke up so we just kinda laid around. We watched a movie that we started to watch last night but it was a blu ray and it kept going but no words were coming out! It was so frustrating. Kylee took it back to Hollywood Video to exchange it for another one. Danny decided he wanted to cook something after watching the food channel half the day. He wanted to make lasagna so he looked up a recipe on his palm pre and went to the store to buy all the ingredients to make lasagna. He even bought a loaf of french bread and made garlic and cheese bread! It turned out wonderful! It was a great meal. Now he just asked me what kind of ice cream shakes we should make. I'm so bloated from the meal I can't even think of eating or drinking one more thing! We are Blessed! Well, as I type he just left to the store to buy stuff to make ice cream shakes. I'm sure they'll be delicious and I'm also sure that he's gonna have to roll me out of bed tomorrow!!! peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 48

Well, today I went shopping for the twins birthday party. I went to Costco and bought a few things and ordered the cake. I will have to wait until the date gets closer to buy some of the other items so they don't go stale. I hope it's a good turn out for them. You only turn 21 once in your life and next to the 50th it's a big one! Dustin wants to go skydiving for his birthday and I am going with him. I'm not sure if Kylee wants to go but I think she does. Mo has already went within the past few months. So, I don't know if she would want to go. I think it would be a hoot jumping out of an airplane! I just feel sorry for the guy who has to ride on my back! I went to the Senior Center today to play Bunco. It was fun and as usual I had a great time. I did not win but that's not a surprise. I never win at Bunco even when I played with my family. Oh well, it's fun and nice to get out of the house. I brought jelly beans and Hershey's chocolate eggs for a treat. They don't ask you to bring anything but, one person brings lunch for everyone and then they rotate to another person for the next week. Today Joe brought chili beans with cornbread muffins..yummy! I'm still so excited for the 17th to come! For now that's it. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 46, 47

Yesterday I had some things to take care of at home. It can be so challenging being a Mother sometimes. It just somehow never ends with the worry and concern about your child's well being. As a Mom I know that what affects my children affects me. More than that, it's hard to explain to them things they will never understand until they themselves become parents. My Mom would tell me that I will find out when I become a parent and that not until then will I get it. I used to reply " yah, but I will be a cool Mom". Good thing I'm typing because it's hard to talk with a foot in your mouth! She knew and I didn't. I never want to see my kids suffer, all their pain is mine and more frustrating when there's not a thing I can do but simply just be there and listen. That though is not enough. I want to heal their every wound and take all their problems away. Then I have to say to myself, they would not become adults and responsible people in this society if I take on all their problems. We learn from our mistakes and hopefully grow from them. I would be failing them as a Mother if I try and solve everything they go through. I pray all things will work out for us. Today which would be day 47, I went to the Senior Center to play Bingo! I mostly went just to see them but I ended up playing a few games. I have not been going as much as I would like but that's okay. It's good to miss them so when I do go back it is more special. Everyone is so excited about the St. Patrick's Day Party. I am too! I seem to have almost everything I need. I do need a few more items and then I will be 100% ready. If I forgot anything it's going to have to be alright. There is only so much I can do and, I think I've just about done it all. So, the wait begins...7 days and counting! Then we have the twins 21st Birthday Party on the 20th of March, whew!, this is going to be a busy week. I can't believe my babies are going to be 21!!! It seems like yesterday when I had control! You probably thought I was going to say something else but it's true. I used to be able to dress them and they would actually leave on what I dressed them in! Not today they all have minds and opinions of their own but that is what I love about all 3 of them. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 42,43,44,45

Gosh where to begin??? It's been a long week to say the least. I have not been ignoring my goal on this 60 day blog quest but, some really important things have happened. My attention was drawn to a more important person. Our Grandpa Roman is in the hospital and I won't go into detail for privacy reasons. All I can say is that we need lots of prayers. There have been some wonderful responses to the need of prayers by complete strangers to Grandpa but, in God's eyes we're not strangers at all. We are ALL God's children and he hears all our prayers. This is the reality of life and what happens to us all eventually. Not one person will live forever. It is vital that we make amends where amends are needed and we treat ourselves to that little dessert we know we deserve. ( and you know who you are :-). I wish I had more control over what happens to the ones I love but, that is God's plans and not for me to worry about but to have FAITH that He will heal His son. Life is truly a gift and sometimes we need a wake up call before we realize what we do have. I will say this, I love all my family with all my heart!! You all know who you are and let it be said I will and would do anything for all of you. I am truly Blessed and I will walk by Faith. To be honest my mind has been consumed with all sorts of things and I give God all the Glory for His love and grace, Amen. I love you Grandpa!!! Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 41

Today I did not go to the Senior Center for the second day in a row. I know, it is a shock to me too! I think I need to take a break when it starts to not be fun for me to go. I go because I enjoy it very much but, there has been so much drama there that I need to take a break and not take it home with me. I don't want to get caught up in something that's none of my business. I don't get a pay check nor do I have to be there. I love to go and mingle with the people and participate in some of the activities. I have things that needed to be dealt with at home so it's okay that I stayed away. It's sad though that when you find something in this life that you really enjoy and then all it takes is a couple of people to ruin it for everyone. I do have the St. Patrick's Day Party to look forward to so, that's what I think of to put me back in the good mood I had before all the drama. I did however go to the Men's Bible Study with my husband, No I did not sit in with them. That would of been really awkward! I went to hang out with my husbands cousin's girlfriend. She picked me up and we went to Chili's for some soup and salad while the guys were in the Bible study. It was nice to visit and chat with her about girl stuff. The only thing I had planned was to put on my p.j.'s and watch a movie. Then I get a text from Brandy asking me to go with Danny so we can hang out. It was a nice change to be able to just relax and not have to think. We went to Target after to get a coffee at Starbucks but right when we walked in they were closing. Boo I say! Danny met us at Target and we seen him walk in so we ran and hid from him and it was like being 12 again but it was fun. Sometimes you just got to go out of your comfort zone and let loose! Danny was tired so we said are goodbyes and we left Target and drove home.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 40

So, the last couple of days were tough! Some were happy tears and some were pain tears of missing my Mom. It was like being on a roller coaster! Just when I thought, "okay you are okay", another wave of tears would come. I decided I would go to the cemetery and sit with my Mom's "stone" but that didn't happen. I got off to a late start and because I had an appointment I would of been pushing it on time. Instead I went to See's candy and bought suckers for the Seniors at the Senior Center and invited them to share my Mom's birthday with me. Most of them were very understanding and then there were the ones that did not care what the occasion was, just gimme my sucker. I had to laugh because not everyone always gets what you're going through but, it doesn't matter my Mom knows it was my way of remembering her. I always send her balloons with a note attached and let them fly up to her. So, Kylee went and bought her two balloons and I wrote my note and attached it to the string on the Happy Birthday balloon and said a little prayer and off they went. I like to watch them until I can't see them anymore. My plans didn't exactly turn out the way I planned but all in all it was a good day.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 39

Well today is kind of a hum drum day. If hum drum is a word or phrase. What I guess I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling a little blue. Okay I'm depressed I'll stop beating around the bush. See, I did another one! So, what's wrong you ask??? Well it seems that there's always something that stands in your way of letting you just be happy. Now, some might say that it's entirely up to you how you feel but, I say different. You can be having an amazing day and before you know it the carpet gets ripped right out from under you. I went to the Senior Center today and I had Dustin take me because Alicia's car broke down and she needed a car for work. It was drama on Friday at the Senior Center so I was a little leary on how it was going to be. It seems that they, meaning the people that had attitude were a little nicer than they were on Friday. My theory is they know they were in the wrong and Darlene the person in charge comes back tomorrow from vacation and they don't want her to know what they did wrong. My feeling is, seriously are you people for real. I try so hard to not let things bother me and yet when I think I have things under control the depression creeps up on me like a dark shadow. I don't choose to be depressed it's just a fact of my life I have to live with. My Mom would say that we are ALL God's children yet some people are not very Godly. I don't think people realize what someone is going through and maybe that person has no where to turn and this could be the day that they say to themselves I give up! The person that might set them over the edge has no clue that what they say or do is the last straw. I guess my point to all of this is you never know what someone is going through and maybe just maybe you should think before you speak. We are all dying a little bit every day and no one was born with a time of death, so it seems to me that we should all make a conscious effort to be a little nicer. I thank God for the Mom I had to teach me that even through her worst pains of dying from cancer she was always thanking Jesus. It was bizarre to understand at the time but, if it wasn't for her faith in Jesus I don't think my faith would be as strong as it is in God. So, you might be saying then why the depressed talk? Well, I'm still a human being living in the human world and crap happens. It's just what the world offers. Some days are better than others but I think we should all try to get along better than we do.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 37 & 38

Saturday the rain was coming down hard and it was a definite movie day! I didn't get to much done except a few loads of laundry and went to La Fuente restaurant to pick up some abondigas and pozole soup. It was pouring rain outside when I went, and cold so the soup made it a perfect night. Sunday had an amazing day at Church! The best day thus far. So many people went to the alter call and it was extremely moving to say the least. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving through that Church like I never have before. It was so emotional even Pastor Raul was crying! I can't explain it I can only tell you I FELT it. I've heard people talk about it but I never really knew the extent of how it felt. Today February 28, 2010 was a day I'll never forget. After Church we went to eat and then to Mom and Dad's house. Uncle Larry came over and we were all talking and when he was leaving he asked me to come listen to his daughter singing on a cd she made. Oh my gosh, this girl is gifted with an amazing voice! So angelic and so sweet and soothing. He made a comment and a compliment on how I looked good and there was something in my eyes that he said was different, my reply...it's God!

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 35 & 36

Yesterday went to Senior Center and helped with lunch and clean and wash tables and chairs. At 1:00p.m. went to play bunco with the people I played with last week. It was a good time! Day 36, had to be at Senior Center early because I was asked to help out as they were short handed. Arrived at Senior Center @ 7:30a.m. helped with putting the "meals on wheels" food together. Then went to Starbucks to p/u pastries for the Seniors. It was a very busy morning. Went to post office after leaving Senior Center to mail off some little gifts for my Uncle's daughters Emma & Sofia. Then off to home and now I'm ready for a nap!

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 34

It's a cat fight at the Senior Center. Seems to be a discrepancy between the kitchen and the front desk. Darlene has done and continues to do amazing things to keep those Seniors fed. She has to balance a budget and order all types of things and more. So, we planned on having our St. Patrick's Party/lunch on March 17, 2010. Now, the front desk just put out fliers saying they were having a "party" on the 17th between 11:00a.m. to 1p.m. Well that's not gonna happen because lunch is served at 11:30a.m. everyday and I don't know where they plan to have their "party" cause the lunch room will be full with the lunch crowd and the disabled come in for lunch that day too! I'm telling ya I don't get it. The Senior Center is for the Seniors. Why does it have to be a cat fight every time someone wants to do something nice? I've had Seniors come up to me and say "don't worry Tina, we're coming to the St. Patrick's Party you & Darlene are having!" Pray it all works out. I will find out tomorrow what happened with the front office & Darlene. She didn't look to happy when she left. Oh yeah, and today we gave Darlene early birthday presents! Some birthday, ruined her mood! Sad. Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 33

Well, today was another great day! Went to M.V. Senior Center this morning and had coffee and helped serve lunch. Today I even did the dishes!!! Woo Hoo! J/k, it's a lot of pans and huge cookie sheets and spoons and such. Talk about dish pan hands! I'm going to bathe my hands in lotion tonight. After kitchen was clean Darlene asked if I could make an extra car key for the Ford Focus that delivers meals to some Seniors. I said sure she said how much I said about 3.00. She gave me the 3.00 and I went to Ace Hardware. When I showed the gal the key she said she probably would not be able to do it. She stuck the key in some type of machine and it was a red light. Not good! She said the key had a chip in it and only the dealer could get the key at about 130.00!!! WHAT...hold the phone, are you telling me that this key is going to cost one hundred and thirty dollars to duplicate? Yep, she said. Darlene does not know yet. I will tell her tomorrow. Geez 130.00 for a key! Ah the humanity. :-) Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 30,31 & 32

Day 30, Had a surprise visit from my brother Tony!!! He had day jumps to do with the Air Force so he was in town. Danny & I went to San Bernardino Hilton to pick him up. He was with nine other Air Force people and they went to San Manuel Casino. So, he asked if we would like to go hang out there for a bit. We said yes and off we went to play some slots. Danny got to watch the UFC fight and Tony and I went slot hopping. I got on one machine and after a few minutes I said I was not feeling it so I said lets switch machines and on the 2nd or 3rd spin he got the bonus. (15 free spins) and during the bonus it re-triggered 15 more spins! That's when the machine went crazy and he walked away with a little over 300.00!!! OMG! That was supposed to be my money. It was funny, well not that second but after a while it was. Just kidding I was happy for him. I won 141.00 dollars. Day 31 was Sunday and I remember that day very well. My Dad was down and a few family members got together and went to MiMi's in Tustin. My Grandma was there and she's still as beautiful as I remember. We took lots of pics and had lots of laughs! When we left MiMi's we planned to go to Carmen's for dinner and she made chicken and mole and she asked if I could make potato salad. My Dad & Uncle & too cute Sofia came over to see Carmen's new home and dinner was excellent. But, before all this we went to my other Grandma's (Grandma Bea) and visited with her. Well, here's the story of my "lil" Shirley Temple doll. When I was around 12 or 13 my mom and I went Christmas shopping and this lady had like a boutique in her home. Well, being that Grandma Bea collects dolls I spotted this Shirley Temple doll. Grandma Bea has a lot of dolls and a lot of really old Shirley Temple dolls. Well back towards the kitchen of this lady's home I see this "lil" doll under a glass dome. It's Shirley Temple!!! I got my mom's attention and pulled her to the back of the house and said Grandma Bea would love this! My mom agreed and bought it. We were right she adored this "lil" S.T. doll. So, Grandma Bea always knew over the years that this was a very special doll even more special after my mom passed away. She always said that one day when she was ready she would let me have that "lil" girl cause she knew what it meant to me. Drum roll please...............SHE GAVE HER TO ME SUNDAY!!!!! She said she'd rather give her to me while she was still alive. Oh my gosh, anyone reading this needs to understand how huge of a thing this is for me. AMAZING isn't even a word to begin. I'm so happy! Really, really really happy. Shirley is about an inch and a half tall. (tiny). I am Blessed! Day 32, went to Senior Center and then left early to pick up my nephew at preschool. Then went to pick up other nephew at 2:00p.m. and then off to Dr.s appt. with my Ma-n-law. She had an Orthopedic appt. to check her foot. All is well and no more cast and in about 3 weeks, she's tip top shape again! My wonderful son watched the kids while I took my ma-n-law to the Doctors. He's a good kid<3 Whew.....now I'm caught up and here's a pic a my special "lil" doll, enjoy! peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 29

Went to Senior Center and had a good time serving lunch and talking with all the people. Went around with the basket to sell more tickets for the raffle. It was another good day on sales. I went to a candle party in Mission Viejo and it was good to see my long time friend Tammy. It was a good day! Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 28

Today was the first day to start selling raffle tickets for the basket my Mother-n-law and I put together. I must say it was a good first day. I was very pleased at how many tickets were sold and I still have until March 17th to sell them! Dustin was down visiting and he went with me to the Senior Center this a.m. After lunch I went around different rooms to sell tickets and one of the rooms was setting up to play Bunco! They asked if I wanted to play and I said sure! I told Dustin to pick me up later so he didn't have to wait around. It was fun to play with all the people. They said the turn out was big this time, more people than usual. The best part was when a lady came up to me and said she had recognized me from somewhere but could not quite place where it was. I immediately recognized her too but wasn't sure where. So, we racked our brains and went over where she had worked and where I worked and the Church we go to but still nothing. Then all of the sudden it dawned on me where it was. The CROSSING GUARD!!! She was the lady that crossed the kids at my oldest daughters elementary school! We both said the school name at the same time and then screamed with joy. The room stopped and was quiet! Jefferson we said! Sure enough it was when my oldest was in kindergarten and she remembered me pregnant with the twins! Ain't that a hoot! This was in Riverside in the late 1980's. Clara is 90 years old now and she remembered me!!! Made my year. I can't tell you in words what that moment means to me. Priceless!!! After bunco I went to buy more prizes with the raffle money and bought some really great things. Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 25, 26 &27

Well, Monday was bingo with Sara at the Janet Goske Center. Of course Sara won, again! It was great to see her win. She basically played for free because she won what she paid plus 10.00 dollars. Tuesday went to Senior Center and helped serve and mingle with the Seniors. We talked about plans for the St. Patricks Day party. I went to a few different stores to purchase some decorations and prizes. I think this party will be even better than the Valentine Party. My Ma-n-law put a basket together for a raffle at the Senior Center. She does amazing baskets and knows exactly how to arrange them. She did a great job and hopefully it will sell for a decent price. All earnings go towards the party fund. It can get quite costly for each party. I went to Wal-Mart to see if they donate to Senior Centers and he said yes. I have to come up with an itemized list of things we need for about 30.00. It's kind of ridiculous. I need to know if the Senior Center is a 501 or a 503. Then, I need to have a letter on letter head stating the tax I.D. # with a list of the exact things I need to purchase. Then I need to have the person in charge okay me to purchase the items and then wait for an approval. He pretty much said "sure we donate, but you'll be a Senior yourself before you get it". I have to give them at least a two to three month advance notice. So, St. Patrick's party is not going to be helped by Wal-Mart. Maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas. I checked with a few other stores and they do not. However, when I went to Jo-Ann's the gal there told me to call Corporate and that they might donate. So I have to call and find out. Wednesday, day 27 went to the Senior Center with Dustin and we helped in the kitchen serving lunch and then helped with clean up. Dustin is so good about doing whatever they want him to do. At 1:00 p.m. bingo started and we played two cards each at .50 cents per card. Funniest part about today was when they started bingo today the announcer said that you needed to be 50 years or older to play. WELL!!! I played last week and no one said anything but I don't play for the prizes I just play for fun. I have no intention of playing for the prizes,. I just like to socialize with them. Well, we played and no one said anything. After that we went to a few more stores to pick things up for the party. Darlene is the Nutrition Director at the Senior Center and the kitchen part of the Senior Center is different from the main part of the Senior Center. The parties don't get help from the main part so we do parties on our own. We need more help and donations for these people. It's really a great place to go and hear the stories and the history behind these Seniors, very interesting to say the least! Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 23 & 24

Day 23, Went to Riverside to play bingo at the Janet Goeske Senior Center with my friend Sara. It was my first time playing bingo with a lot of people and playing for money not just for fun. It was a good time. But, I tell ya don't mess with the Seniors and their bingo or you might end up with a knot on the head from someones cane or a broken toe from a wheelchair! These people are serious when it comes to this game. Sara told me to just play two sheets which would be eight cards. Well, I did and it was a little confusing at first cause they play different patterns and such. But, the confusion really started when it was almost the last game and a lady comes around and asks if you want to buy more sheets for the last game. Well, I did because I didn't win anything so I figured I would go for broke. Big mistake! I couldn't keep up! Sara was like what are you doing I can barely keep up with my cards and I told you to stick with just the two. So I gave the lady that was with Sara my sheet to play so I could keep up with the numbers being called. It was pretty funny. The first game starts at 12:00 and the last game ends around 3:30 p.m. or so. Tomorrow Sara needs a ride to bingo and I had so much fun playing I told her I would take her. So, I have a bingo date with Sara at 10:00a.m.
Day 24, Valentines day!!! Went to Church and my Husband bought me a women Bible a few days ago and today at Church he bought me a leather case to put it in. It is very soft leather and has an eagle on it. I love it!!! After Church we went to his mom and dads and we BBQ'd. It was very nice. Before we went we stopped off to buy some flowers for my mom-n-law. For some reason flowers last and bloom at her house. When I get flowers they don't open up and they sure don't last as long. I do the same thing arranging her flowers in a vase as I do mine but hers just do better. All in all it was a great weekend.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 21 & 22

Gosh, so much to catch up on. Where do I begin? I'll try to go in order. First I told you about going to the mountains and we went and it was extraordinary! We all had a blast and I got to see it snow in like three different ways. It snowed like rain and then it snowed like hail and then the most beautiful snow was the light flakes that gently flowed through the air to a soft landing. Amazing beauty in every phase! Although I had a great time I was worried about making it on time to the Senior Valentine Party. I had to make the cupcakes in the mountains because I knew I would not have time when I returned on Thursday. I made 74 cupcakes and then stressed about how in the heck I was going to get them home in good condition. We had a truck load with all are gear and luggage and there were four of us in the truck so I put the cupcakes in big ziplock bags and then put them into a duffle bag. I was in the back of the truck with Brandy and we had pillows between us so we propped the duffle bag with cupcakes on the top. Let me tell you I held on to that bag all the way home to make sure they didn't fall. I was all ready, showered and dressed at 5:30a.m. in the mountains so all I needed to do was get all the party items loaded in the truck and go. Long story short I made it in time and the party was a huge success! The next day was my Nephew's preschool class to make Valentines for their parents. So, that would be today February 12, 2010 which would be day 22. I don't know how else to put it but to say that it was priceless! The kids were all so excited and behaved very well and had a great time making the magnet hearts. I had extras so I was excited that they let me do them with another class of older kids. They were a hoot! I nick named one of them motor mouth cause he was just a talkin away! By the end he called himself motor mouth. Too cute!I had enough for them to make all the teachers one and it was pretty neat that they all had a different teacher in mind that they wanted to make one for. It was a perfect day at the preschool! Whew, okay there's more. At 2:00 p.m. the Senior Center was having a Valentine Dance. So, I was babysitting my nephews and I asked my Husband if he could watch them for a bit so I could go to the dance. He said sure! So off I went. This is where a perfect day gets even better. These Seniors were dancing away and line dancing and salsa dancing and even disco dancing! I had to get in on the fun and I have to admit I danced and I danced and I soaked in every minute of my surroundings. I took lots of pictures and made some new friends. After the dance I went to my nephews baseball practice and watched till they were done and brought him home till his Dad picked all three of them up. Can you say tired? Yes. But would not trade this day for all the money in the world!!! Tomorrow off to another Senior Center in Riverside to play bingo with my 89 year old friend Sara. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 18,19,20

Well since I did not blog yesterday I'm gonna make up for it right now. Yesterday was day 18 and I took my Mother-n-law to Urgent Care to have her foot x-rayed. She had quite the nasty bump from a fall. She is okay! I think the worst part is she has to be on crutches for a week! That part did not make her to happy but she's a trooper and She will manage. The worst part besides the fall is she has to fly on Thursday to San Francisco. We told her to get a wheelchair at the airport and if nothing else she will be one of the first to get on the plane. The reason I put 18,19,& 20, is because I will be out of town till Thursday and I will not have access to a computer. So, I will have to play catch up when I get back, but I will have some things to write about on Thursday. One great thing I have to look forward to is the Senior Valentine party on Thursday when I get back, and then Friday is when I go to my Nephew's preschool class to help them make their Valentine magnets!!! So pray we don't get snowed in so I can be back in time for the party. I already told my Husband I can't be late and if we have to leave the mountains at 4:00 a.m. Thursday than so be it. It's important to me not to be late. It was my idea and I can't let them down. So for now I leave you with this and when I return hopefully I will have some good news to report. Peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 17

Today began with a cup of coffee and conversation with my Husband. I know I have so much to do to get the Senior Center Valentine party going and I feel like time is against me. I will be out of town Tues. -Wed not coming home till Thurs. a.m. I will have to get to the Senior center as soon as I get home, it will work out. I just have to believe it will all be okay. My son will be down so maybe he can go get things started Thurs. a.m. for me. I needed six more round tablecloths and a game to play and a prize. I still need to make 50 cupcakes and the people in the kitchen at the Senior Center are going to make the other fifty. Thanks to my Mother and sister in law I was able to get those items today! Man, I did not realize that a piece of plastic would cost 2.99, for plastic?!!! I bought these really cool playing cards from the 1950's. They're a regular pack of playing cards but they also have trivia questions from the fifty's on them. So that will be another game to play and the winner will get the cards and candy as a prize for answering the most questions. I still need ideas on what type of games to play. peace out, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 16

Went to my nephew's birthday party! He's now 5 years young and a very happy birthday boy! He loves trains, so he got a lot of train toys and about 5 new pairs of shoes. Too cut shoes! It was a good turn out. My mother-n-law offered to help with the Senior's party and my sister-n-law also donated money to help with supplies and prizes needed for the Valentines party. I am Blessed to have a supportive family. Thanks for your contribution. If people could see the faces of these Seniors light up just because your having a conversation with them. It's a Blessing to be mobile at 70, 80, and even 90 plus years old and still get around. Heck, if I make it to half that I'll be Blessed. It's just nice for them to know that someone actually cares. Thank you Family for your support! On behalf of the Senior Center, we thank you too! nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 14 &15

On the 15th day I went to the Senior Center and helped with serving and cleaning the tables. I went and picked up balloons for the party, un-inflated because I did not know if the selection would be any good next week. My back is feeling much better. Pulling a muscle set me way back on my little quest but I'm back, and I will be writing more about my daily adventures. The Senior Center had a "yard sale" indoors and I looked around. Some of the things were very cool and then I found a gal who was selling really nice jewelery. She had a peace sign necklace that was very different and a heart ring and necklace that matched. So I bought that. Well, I guess you could say I helped someone by purchasing something? Good news I'm back and if I have to I will add the lost days at the end so I will be doing more than 60 days. I'm refusing to give up. nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 12&13

Time out!!! Hurt back!!! Pulled muscle!!! not quitting...just a temporary set back. Dr. says I should be better in a few days. So, disappointing but it could be worse.
nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 11

Today my son & I hung out. We went to one of the clothes and shoes drop off boxes in the Food 4 Less parking lot and dropped off some more shoes! After we did that we went to get a few more things for the Valentine party at the Senior Center. We got home and I put together some prizes for the games played on Valentines Day. I figure a balloon at every table with rose petals scattered around a balloon decorated weight. I also have little plastic hearts to put a few candies in. For games, I thought I could do some trivia from the 1940's, a raffle and I'm not sure what else. Tomorrow I will be at the Senior Center and Dustin said he wanted to go. So, more tomorrow. nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 10

Today was a good day. Started off with Church and then went to lunch with my Husbands cousin and his girlfriend. After lunch we all went to the bowling alley in Riverside for Auntie Lizzy's birthday. We arrived a little late but we were able to hang out a bit and chat with other family members. Then as we were driving home I called my oldest to see where she was and she was literally at the same stop light we were at in Riverside. So when I asked where are you she was saying "I'm right here look mom look." She was passing right before me into Harvest parking lot on her way to Church. How bizarre! So, she turned around because Church started at 6pm and it was only 5pm. She had a friend I never met and she was a nice girl. My good deed was buying Mo's friend whom I don't know starbucks! nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 9

Today we had a little BBQ with some family & friends. Danny's cousin's daughter was here and we made Valentine picture magnets for the refrigerator. I told you about dropping off the shoes at Sports Chalet. Well, a neighbor had about 4 more bags of shoes. She said they were on her porch but they were behind a bush so I didn't see them. I have to go to Sports Chalet and drop them off. So that was it. Short & sweet a pretty simple day. Here's a picture of the magnets she made.

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 8

Today was a good day. I went to the homes I dropped off fliers for the "soles for souls" in Haiti shoe drive. Around 10:30 a.m. is when I started to collect. But if your following this blog then you know about 9 bags were dropped off on my porch anonymously. I was quite pleased with the turn out. I had over two hundred pairs of shoes! The back seat of my truck was stacked full and the back bed of the truck was half full. It was a great success indeed. I drove them to Riverside Sport Chalet and there were people dropping shoes off left and right. It was so great to see that people really can make a difference. It was very rewarding! Also, I went to do a little more shopping for the Moreno Valley Senior Center. I need more candy and I need to buy a cake to feed about 100 Seniors. I also decorated the heart containers that I'm putting candies in. It was a gratifying day to say the least! Nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 7

Today I went to the Senior Center again. This time I went early. I was there from 8:30a.m. till 12:45p.m. We had spaghetti and meatballs with zucchini and apricots for dessert. Oh and a bread stick. I brought stickers to give out and most of them were taken and that's a good thing. I sat at the piano with a Senior Lady and I sat on the bench with her while she played and we talked about the piano and when she learned to play. She said as a young girl she took piano lessons but they did not work out very well. She learned better on her own. Then I got brave and actually sang some songs with her. It was very cool. It was birthday day and they celebrate the Seniors who have a birthday in January. They also get served first and then have cake and ice cream. What I thought was cute was there were Seniors sitting at the birthday table and it wasn't even their birthday. Hah! What a hoot. I tell yah they'll try anything. After that I went to recycle some bottles and cans (thanks to my Mother -n- law) she saves them for me. So, I recycled those and with the money I went to shop for Valentine treats for the Senior Center. I want to have a party for them. I have a pretty good start on a few things but it's out of my pocket so I have to budget myself. I can't think of a better way to spend a few extra dollars. So if there are any readers that would like to donate to their party let me know I will be more than happy to pick up what you can donate. :-) Other good news, is I went to my Nephews preschool class to find out if I could make those heart magnets and she said YES!!! WooooHooo.... I was so excited! Tomorrow I pick up the shoes from the neighborhood and take to Sports Chalet. I've been busy. But that's what this whole challenge has been about. Happy? Yes. nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 6

Today was another great day! I went back to the Senior Center and helped out. This time I brought a treat for the Seniors. First I helped serving the lunch and then passed out the Sees suckers. They were happy to get one. One lady asked if she could have two because they were so small, she said. Too cute but I was on to her! After passing out the suckers it was clean up time and then at 1:00p.m. bingo started. I bought two cards at .50 cents each. I could only play about six games because I had an appt. It was still a good time. Tomorrow I plan on going back and visiting with some new and some old friends that I remember from a couple years ago. Another pleasant surprise was when I got home two more hefty bags on the porch with shoes!!! I haven't even picked up the shoes scheduled for the 29th! I called Sports Chalet tonight because I was getting a little worried and I needed to know if the 31st was the last day they were accepting shoes and she said yes. Whew!!! I asked how many you could bring and she replied well, people have brought in a box or one pair is good. I thought to myself "how about a truck load!" I have a feeling that's what I will have by Friday. How amazing and wonderful is that? Nite peeps, Tina

Because I never finish anything I start! Day 5

Well today was a GREAT day! First I got up this morning and I decided I was going to go to the Senior Center in Moreno Valley to help prepare and serve lunch. I left the house around 9:00a.m. and off I went. I had the best time. I've been before but it has been a long time. It is so rewarding I don't know why I stopped going. I know the Lady in charge and she welcomes me in even after me not being there in so long. I walked in through the kitchen entrance (taking my chances on getting booted out) but it's the only entrance I've gone through. Anyways, it was amazing to see some seniors I haven't seen and there were new faces too! As I spoke with Darlene she updated me on who was still coming and who had passed on. I asked if I could help with lunch and she said sure! So I put the lovely hair net on with my plastic gloves and went to work. On the menu was polish sausage, red potatoes, carrots, chocolate pudding and peaches. Lunch starts being served at exactly 11:30a.m. everyday. I needed to leave by a quarter till to pick up my nephew at preschool. I asked if I could come back and she said absolutely! Then I went to pick up my nephew and asked if the director was in so I could get permission to make the heart magnets with the kids but she was not in today. So I will have to wait on the answer for that. A great surprise happened when I got home from my great day. There were about 8 bags full of shoes someone had dropped off on my porch! Imagine that. I was smiling even bigger. People really do care! How great God is!